Party 'til you puke

You're being warned, if you have a weak stomach, don't read on. If you'd like to read on, click "more" below.

New year, old traditions

It was bound to happen, it happens every year. Someone was going to get sick by the time they let Dick Clark read the teleprompter for ten minutes before putting him away until next year. We assumed it would be the dog, he has been having quite a few issues recently, so it took us by surprise when I came down with a fever and a pretty bad case of strep throat. I spent New Years Day in the only doctor's office that was opened, trying to keep my head up and fever down. Dave spent the next three days of his vacation taking care of Lilli and the everyday stuff that comes up. And I spent it stuck in bed, barely able to hold a conversation.

It'd been two years since I had been really sick. Sick to the point where I couldn't get out of bed and medicine didn't seem to help anything. Worst yet, I had not taken any medicine other than Tylenol and Benedryl since before I had become pregnant. My body was not happy. It took longer to get well than I had expected and it frustrated me (and Dave as well, I'm sure).

So here we are six days after the clock gave way to another 12 months of change. No blog post since Christmas, behind in everything from days-worth of work to the pile of bills and paperwork to piles laundry and more flagged emails than I can handle. I'm not one of those people that looks forward to the new year with great expectations, it's just another day of numbers changing on a calendar. We don't do a big celebration, we don't go crazy when the ball drops, and it's a struggle to stay up that late these days. However, I look at any transition as an opportunity to better any situation and re-evaluate life. So even though it's the 6th, life has fallen behind schedule, and I'm still on the mend, there's no excuse for not trying to make something better by setting goals for myself.

Let's not call these new years resolutions. Let's call them: thing's I'd like to work on to make my life better... that just so happen to fall around the time of the year that people happen to also make such changes... or at least make an attempt at changing something in their lives. Here we go:

1 - The obvious one that everyone makes... work out more. Getting to the gym two times a week is a hell of a lot harder than you'd think. At least for me, my motivation hits a high when it's inopportune and a low at the perfect time. Three months 'til a wedding, time to get it together.

2 - Be more decisive. I am extremely indecisive, I make quick decisions under pressure then later regret it. What to eat for dinner, where to go this weekend, whether or not to start a project now or later, or which outfit to wear today. Dave is also indecisive and so we spend a lot of time deciding instead of doing, I can't ask someone else to change for the sake of my bad habits. It's time to take control and stop teetering my scales with pros and cons. Time to look at situations as a whole and figure out what is best without questioning myself.

3 - Better my posture. This is MUCH harder than I thought. It's something I have been working on for months, so I guess it's not really a NEW resolution, but it's something I want to continue to work on for myself. Unfortunately, crouching down to chase a toddler all day takes it's toll on progress. Maybe by the time she's 5 and taller...

And now back to regular scheduled blogging. Happy new decade!

"Song of the Entry"

Willow Tree by Chad Vangaalen

Fever

New years eve 2008-09 was the last time Lilli was sick or had a fever. We spent our New Years Eve relaxing since we were new parents, we didn't have any extravagant plans. Around 1 a.m. we realized the thrill of waiting up for the ball to drop was unnecessary and we went to bed. Within a half an hour we were woken up by a hysterical five month old. The next three days were scary and exhausting. We called our doctor every time our concerns became too overwhelming to handle on our own. It all seems like a lifetime ago.

She has had her share of bumps and bruises, considering she's genetically prone to clumsiness, but since the day we took her out of daycare she has rarely had even a stuffy nose. We've been lucky enough to avoid an ear infection, stomach virus, and colds. Mostly, when she feels sick, it's related to her teething but never more than a low-grade fever.

Last week she was pushing through three or four molars. She was miserable, whiny, and very clingy, just not usual spunky self. She had her usual low-grade fever for a day or so before the worst of it kicked in. Once again she waited until the wee hours of the morning, we were awoken by screams of pain and restlessness. However, this time she was much more capable of expressing her discomfort.

Being able to express herself was something I looked forward to in situations like this one. Finally, we'd be able to comfort her if we knew what she needed. Boy, was I wrong. She was able to express her pain, but it did not help anything. Being able to express herself only made her thrash about, cry, and generally dislike the world with more intensity. We still felt helpless, exhausted, and scared.

When her fever hit 103+ around 3 a.m., we panicked, she had never been this sick before now. I spent the rest of the night sleeping sitting up with a steaming hot toddler nestled into my chest. Every time I tried to move, she woke up in hysterics. When the doctors office opened we called and they suggested we keep doing everything we had been doing. This just made us feel worse for our little girl who was obviously unhappy. It went on for another day or so before she started to feel better and those pesky molars poked through ready to chew on anything in sight.

I felt the same as I had the first time she was sick, helpless. More than anything, we wanted to make her feel better. It seemed like the only thing that would make anything better was love, Tylenol and patience. I suppose that as she gets older, the sicknesses won't become any easier. The guilt and sadness a parent feels for their sick child never changes. The love and comfort they need to feel better never goes away. No matter how much medicine you give your child, the thing they want most is you.

"Song of the Entry"

Mystery by Clint Brown