Our mall has a few fabulous family bathrooms. It's complete with a children's play area, huge flat screen tv that usually is playing Sesame Street (mom approved), large private bathrooms with mini-toilets for toddlers, changing areas with characters painted on the ceilings as a distraction, and of course nice comfy chairs for tired parents to take a rest. Since I took a different way in, I found a new family bathroom. (hooray!). This one had a broken TV so Lilli just ran circles around the play area (no complaints here). Shortly after I sat down, a mother, grandmother and toddler came in to use the facilities. The little girl was quiet, shy and about a half of a foot taller than Lilli. Turns out she was the same age, surprisingly, and of course Lilli immediately waved in her face saying hello over and over. It's just Lilli's very excited way of saying "come play with me!"
The little girl didn't speak one word, she barely played with any of the toys. She stood there watching my hyper toddler run in circles around her and the play area, yelling excited screams once in a while. The mom and grandmother told me she used signs and didn't speak much at all. A word here and there, they said. I was surprised, but remembered reading a lot about children that sign taking longer to speak. Since Lilli has become such a chatterbox, I figured it was just a myth or something that only happened once in a while. They said that she the type to take it all in and I reassured them with a story of a friend that's son was the same way. After all, not every kid has a chatty mom like me around.
Then I found myself feeling almost guilty about how Lilli was acting. Yelling and running and talking their ears off (not an exaggeration...). I told her to calm down over and over, "use your inside voice", slow down, stop running, she doesn't like it when you wave in her face, etc... Normally this is a place for her to expend her energy, run around with other kids and get her "wiggles" out before the afternoon. For some reason, today, I felt bad about her behavior. Lilli was making this little girl so uncomfortable that she stood on the side just watching Lilli with her energy shooting through the roof. The mother and grandmother were very friendly and eventually packed up to leave. As they were leaving, Lilli told them "At mall, shop!" And ran out the door hand in hand with me before them. Lilli and I "ran" down the hallway (well, Lilli ran, I chased) saying "Green Go!.... Red Stop!.... Green Go!"
This is who she is. This was who I was as a child. The loud, energetic, overly outgoing, fun child that just had to be in the center of it all. Why did I feel the need to stifle her that in this situation? I wasn't embarrassed, I just felt terrible about how overwhelmed that little girl was becoming because of my little pie. Am I wrong to try to help Lilli understand that not everyone can handle her overly extrovert self? I learned the hard way, so maybe will too. Maybe she needs to know that there is a time and a place, but what if the time and place she is used to collide with a shy, quiet type?
Later that afternoon, we passed the mecca of the mall for Lilli. I couldn't get away with a mall visit without a ride on the carousel (the "round" as Lilli would say repeatedly until you took her on it). We finished our ride, I stumbled off dizzily, and we headed for the food court to get some pretzels and cheese (one of our traditions). She noticed a couple speaking in sign language a table away. Lilli watched them so intently, enchanted by their gestures. She looked at me with a HUGE smile and said/signed "all done mommy!" Through out the rest of the afternoon, she gestured and signed along with speaking her words. From what I can tell it was a sign-language-gibberish. Maybe she understood more than I realized.
Seeing Lilli so excited that someone else used the same communication skills as her redeemed my feelings from earlier in the day. I felt better about my daughter's ability to understand that people are different. She is different. Sometimes she won't be understood, sometimes she won't understand. As long as she accepts that, she will feel more comfortable in life than I do. If she grows up to be compassionate, that is all I could ever ask. Today, I was proud of her and a little disappointed in myself. I let my own insecurities take over my emotions and forgot that she is her own person. She can and will learn the ways of the world with experience, not by listening to me giving directions from the sidelines.
"Song of the Entry"
The Ruminant Band by The Fruit Bats
"Song of the Entry"
The Ruminant Band by The Fruit Bats
