Taking it in

In an effort to stay true to my word to share the bad along with the good in our lives, I am going to share some of my more personal information.  Be warned, this post contains topics such as birthing, pregnancy, breast feeding, my period and doctor visits.

About the time Lilli turned one, I decided to stop breast feeding.  It had become a comfort thing for her and was not really about nutrition.  Plus, ugh! I was so done with it.  I wanted my freedom back. I wanted my pretty bras back!  About 7 months later, and since October of 2007, I still had not resumed my normal cycle. Now, most women would be THRILLED to not have to deal with such a monthly nuisance.  Personally, I prefer it to the week to two week long anxiety accompanying the $15 pregnancy test fee.  The stress involved in thinking I might be pregnant over and over and over itself is reason enough to miss such a widely hated condition.   The testing cost isn't exactly thrilling either.  So I went to the doctors.

My doctor, who delivered Lilli, said it probably had to do with my birth control.  She also said that due to my previous issues with placenta accreta with my first pregnancy, I could end up with fertility issues in the future.  The doctor said that the likelihood of the placenta accreta and hemorrhaging  at birth occurring again is pretty high.  The doctor suggested trying again soon, while my body is still young, because it will be able to handle the pregnancy better than when I am older or even in a few years.  There is also the very high likelihood that I will have to have an hysterectomy and/or a C-section for a second child.

Nothing is promised in my situation. Things could go smoothly and everything turn out to be normal the second time around.... but it could go just as wrong as the first time. I'm not really sure how I feel about all of this information, I still need to digest everything.  While we're not ready to try for number two just yet, I have to admit, the thought of not being able to have another child is sad.  I'm beyond blessed with my one amazing, beautiful, wonderful child.  If that's all that is in store for me, so be it.  I can't really question it since the first one almost killed me. There is a lot to consider, I'm sure I'll have more to say on this as time goes by, but for now I'm a little lost for words.

"Song of the Entry"
Family Time by Ziggy Marley (with Judah Marley)