Baby Mine

Ever since Lilli was born, I've sung/hummed/played the song Baby Mine from Dumbo, as a lullaby to her when ever she's going to sleep or just needed a good quiet hug.  Sometimes it would be a few weeks before she wanted to hear it again, but she always remembers it as her favorite snuggle song.  I'm not sure why I picked that song as "our" song, but it just came to mind when she was born and it has always felt perfect.

This afternoon, I showed Lilli a video of the memorable scene.  When it ended, she looked at me with a tearful expression and asked "what happened to mommy?" She started to cry, I started to cry. I didn't know what to say. I was so caught off guard, I couldn't come up with the words to explain it.  I was sad, that scene had so much meaning to me, more now as a mother, than it did when I was a kid.

When I finally caught up with my thoughts I blurted out between sobs, "it's ok! Dumbo learns to fly with his ears and saves his mommy!" She looked at me, sobbing still too, and said "Dumbo cry cause he misses his mommy?" Yes, I told her, sometimes Dumbo cries when he misses his mommy.  To help her understand that we all have emotions, even bad ones, I tell her it's o.k. to feel bad sometimes.  And it's a good thing to understand the bad feelings just as much the good ones.  It's important for her to know that life isn't all roses and daffodils all the time.  And she stopped crying.  We decided to watch it later together and watch the full movie.

Later, as I was getting her ready and tucking her in, she said to me "It's ok, sometimes. Sometimes, Dumbo cry cause he misses his mommy... Sometimes." It made my heart ache a little, seeing her grow up so fast, understanding so much. It makes me a little sad that she's old enough to see the world for what it really is... how hard life is, and sometimes.... sometimes, it is just sad.

Update: We watched the movie and Dave came home to us curled up sobbing together.  After it was over, we had a long talk about Dumbo being sad from missing his mommy.  And how he and his mommy were together again so he wasn't sad anymore.  Because "Sometimes we get sad."

Potty Progress

There have been days that Lilli would insist on going to the potty before/after each diaper change. We doled out stickers and m&m's for each success, along with mounds of praise and rounds of applause. Then, weeks of nothing, not even a spark of interest.  Some days there was an out right mutiny against any thing "big girl" related.  "I love my diapers! No panties! I NOT a big girl!!!" We tried a few weeks of Pull-ups, long talks, promises of too many bribes for #2 in the potty or any of the three Lilli-sized potties. We read all of the articles,  researched all of the options, talked to other people who had been there before us.  Nothing helped.

It was a constant mountain and valley of progress. The advice wasn't consistent, the suggestions were so varied it was hard to choose a plan and stick with it, especially since her interest varied.  Some people said "they'll do it when they're ready" while other's went with the "no more diapers, period." I looked into getting the old school training pants my mom used for all of my brothers and sister.  A far less expensive investment than the Pull-ups but not quite as cost effective as taking away all diaper related materials and just going for it.  Some days I was on board with waiting for her to be ready, other's I had enough of the diapers and was ready to face the inevitable tears of her losing a staple and super gross attachment.  

Most of the time, I try to involve Lilli in our decisions, especially those that have to do with her directly. So most of our talks about potty training, she was either in the room or involved in the discussion.  We had many talks about how she was too big for diapers now, how some day she would have to say goodbye.  We watched the videos, we discussed other people's "business", talked about how different animals did theirs (which resulted in peeing next to trees), we read any book we could find on the topic... She was well aware that the time was closing in and she'd have to make a move soon. 

We started to talk about having a "naked day." She seemed interested, a whole day with no clothes?! She even seemed excited. We made a plan for a week at home, there wasn't much planned and sitting out a few activities wouldn't kill us.  The weather was nice and we could take long walks instead.  And on the very first day, before lunch even, we had a purposeful #2 success!

It's been a few weeks, I have every week's potty chart labeled with the date. There are still valleys and mountains of success.  She's getting there, in her own time and no one else's.  The weekends are the hardest, since we're out most of the time. Monday's are always the best, we almost always stay home. We're sticking with the pull-ups and haven't bought or used diapers for weeks (with the exception of a tummy situation for a few days). Some days I fight her to not wear a diaper, some days I have to argue with her to wear any underpants at all! We've found something that works, she will get there on her own with a few pushes along the way. Until then, I bought a star-sticker pack of 750, I hope not to have to use it all for this milestone.