What happened next...

Starting a business was really never my intention when I left my 9-5 desk job. The pressure from trying to be the best parent I could imagine myself being and stress of working full time was too much for me to handle. I gave it an honest shot and it didn't work out. Working from home, that worked. Unfortunately, my maternity leave was up and driving back and forth to daycare twice a day to breastfeed was taxing me in ways I didn't realize.

Eventually, the clouds parted and an answer dropped into my hands. I started bookkeeping for a small local business virtually and things were good. Like any job, it had it's challenges, but it was working.  I always saw myself returning to the full time life once Lilli turned 2. I told myself, she'd be ready for daycare and I'd be ready to start back into the real world of grown-ups.  Two came and went. I thought about it again and again and each time I pushed it off. Maybe Lilli could be home-schooled, those other kids seem to pick up a lot of bad habits from school... Maybe I could sign her up for classes.  Maybe, sometime soon... 

Sometime never came, I kept working.  I kept taking full advantage of being a work-at-home mom. We joined groups, made friends, found free local classes, we had routines, we made our life out of what was going on now.  Meanwhile, the world was changing, oil was spilled, economies made a steady decline felt by everyone.  And one day, my client's small business was being sold sold. Before I realized it, I was *gasp* unemployed! 

I made a mental list, what could I do now? Go back to working full-time? Crunched numbers... Hmm, we'd still be spending more on daycare than the amount we'd save if we got part time job(s) and stayed with her ourselves.  I could try and find new clients, and I did... try. I could watch another child, and I did... try.  

It was the holidays when my paychecks ran out. So no one was hiring immediately, at least no one was rushing to respond to many many many many emails.  A few friends and family told me enjoy the time off and relax until after the holidays. Something, my mind is just not programmed to do. Instead, I'd spend my time stressing about the current state of things.  I put that energy to work, I applied like mad, the whole holiday season.

In January, things started to look up. I found a little girl to watch during the day and a great bookkeeping gig.  By the end of the first month, I realized I couldn't keep doing both. One had to be focused on, rather than wearing myself down to the point of not sleeping.