Lilli recently learned the word "park" and will ask to go almost instantly after she wakes up in the morning. So one weekend afternoon, we were driving around running our usual errands and decided to stop and let her play for a bit. Sometimes a quick stop at our favorite park is worth the expression on her face when we step outside of the car. This day Lilli seemed to be especially relaxed and spent a good 45 minutes on the swings. We usually sing songs and talk about the trees, I could swear she almost fell asleep. As Lilli put her head back and let the wind blow through her hair, mom's and their kids came and went. Then one woman with her two sons sat down next to us one swing over. She seemed really nice, we chatted for a few minutes about her kids. She had twin 4 year olds and a toddler, I always say to moms with boys "All those boys?! You must be exhausted." Then she asked me about my job, she told me she worked at home too. She saids he had just moved to the area from Michigan last week and was going a little crazy from not knowing anyone. She said she was in telemarketing and that her neighbors don't ever go outside. It was a friendly conversation between moms. Something I had been looking to find for some time.
Then things got awkward. Well,... maybe not from her end, but I find these situations very uncomfortable. She asked me to take down her number. She said she couldn't stand being home all day alone with her boys and thought we should meet up. Instinctively, I took out my phone, added her number and was about to talk a little more when she said "Maybe we can do lunch next week!" And with that she walked away.
I noticed she was doing the same thing to a few other moms around the park and it made me feel weird. The whole situation was so familiar, it reminded me of dating. I felt like I was in a sunny bar with kids and play equipment instead of sweaty dudes and barstools, juice boxes instead of shot glasses, scraped knees instead of beer muddied jean bottoms. I was being picked up by a "player", handing out their number to anyone who seemed approachable, and was about to be judged whether I was a worth keeping around over lunch ('cause you don't take a new girl out to dinner first). I hated dating the first time around...
So I went over it in my head, whether I'd call or not. I decided not to this time, it just didn't feel right. I knew these kinds of
"Song of the Entry"
Digging for Clams by Almond, Cohen
