separation frustrations

When we got back from our trip home, Lilli had become so clingy and yelly (yes that is a word, stupid spell check). She literally screamed when I put her down, when I went to the bathroom, when I walked out of view, when she was sad or happy or just bored. It has literally been driving me insane.

I thought about many things that could be the cause of this new issue. There were so many people picking her up and my stress in the situations probably didn't give her the right impression. She spent a lot of time apart from me for the first time, but instead of with one familiar face, she was with many unfamiliar ones. We spent the whole week chasing her around saying "NO!" Not because she was bad, but because everywhere we went was completely un-baby proofed (baby-death traps as we called them.) We cant blame anyone, practically everywhere we visited had not been in baby-mode for over 10 years. Still... it gave her anxiety and she felt trapped, I could see it. The only place she was allowed to roam was outside and even then she was monitored and ushered around.

So many reasons for this sudden constant-meltdown. We researched separation anxiety, stranger anxiety, even "baby yelling non-stop". We came up with so many theories but nothing seemed to fit.

Finally, I spent the day watching her, trying to see what triggered the episodes. Then I noticed, it had a lot to do with her space and when she was allowed to roam her space. I took down her play yard and once again opened up more space for her to play. Something I've done every few months when she learns a new skill that requires more space. I let her roam around with a close watchful eye, try not to hover over her as she explored.

At first she would come back to me every few minutes to check in or look around for my gaze and approval. Quickly the yelling became less and less. We started taking her for walks around the complex, letting her stop as she pleased to collect leaves and sticks. She was exploring without limits, well not completely unlimited.

As if over-night, she seemed to slowly ease up on her anxiety. She still has been yelling when I try and keep her from getting into dangerous situations, but its more out of frustration than extreme anxiety. As I type, she is running (yes running...) from where I sit to the other room. A happy yell. I can live with that.