Looking back

When I was pregnant with Lilli I had plenty of strange and vivid pregnancy dreams. Once I dreamt that Ben Affleck was coming to get me because I had evidence that he killed J. Lo... Seriously... I woke up a little scared of Ben Affleck.

I had two notably vivid dreams, one about the baby that was growing inside of me and the other was a nightmare. Like most vivid pregnancy dreams, I chalked it up to hormones. (I mean, come on... Holden McNeil wouldn't do that.)

The first one took place at my grandparent's house, the one place that is the center of all of our lives. I was standing in the dining room with my family and a little girl who looked JUST like me, about two years old with glasses, stood beside me. At the time we didn't know the sex of the baby, but I felt like my body/mind was telling me something. Although, I chose to ignore it.

The second one was scary... I was leaving someone's house in a not-so-nice area of Philly and trying to put the baby in the car. I felt uneasy and nervous the whole time, like someone was watching me. Suddenly, someone came up to the car and tried to carjack us. When I tried to protect the baby, BANG! I was shot in the head...

Right?!? Scary stuff! The dream literally went black. Like a light shut off. And I woke up in such a panic, it seemed so real, the light going off... that had never happened in my dreams before. It was like the end of the film abruptly ran out. And now I wonder if it was telling me something about what was to come at her birth...

Sometimes it scares me to think that I may have predicted something yet to come. Either way... looking back, it still makes me uneasy and once in a while I have to turn off a Ben Affleck flick.