9 months, 3 weeks

Today, something strange is happening. Today, something wonderful is happening. Today, something ordinary is happening.

Britt, my cousin, is being induced... well technically she's been induced. We're waiting for updates. I took this opportunity to go against what I had been telling myself for over a year. I got more involved. I felt this urge pushing me. I had to.

I called my mom, pleaded with her for (hopefully) the last time. I asked her to put her anger aside and move on. (again). I called in the troops. I asked my siblings to use their voices, fingers, and love. I'd say we did a good job, considering the circumstances.

As I was trying to distract myself, with cleaning and dusting, I came across a picture of me, Dave and my grandma (aka mom-mom Lil). I dusted her off and said out loud "Mom-mom, I can't do this alone. I need your help." Nano-seconds later I hear "Hello? Helloooo?" from my phone. Apparently I had called my mom on accident.

I'm a superstitious type. I believe that people never leave when they pass. I believe they live in our hearts. And while it may be something I use to cope with such a huge loss in my life, I honestly believe I can hear her. Even if it's just her words echoing from my youth, I know what she "would have" said. She would have wanted us to love each other.

I'm working on higher orders. Today, something wonderful will happen no matter who is doing the driving.