Links and what not

The past few weeks have been a little rough. My job just got increasingly more stressful over the past few weeks, giving me very little energy or time.  Between work and our sleep schedules being thrown off, my creativity feels drained.  Although I have plenty of stories to tell, I can't find time in my schedule or a quiet mood to sit down and really get into the things I'd like to share.  Since I haven't had much time to sit quietly, I have been using the few minutes when I am endlessly waiting for her to go potty (a new trick she's learned to drag out things when she doesn't want to do something) to read some pretty interesting articles.  There may be a future lag in blog entries until things quiet down on with work.  I don't like feeling pressured to just write something, so I'll be writing when life allows it.  Hopefully, I'll be able to keep up with some of less-thought driven entries through this stressful time.  For now, here are some great links I found this past week and keep checking back.

• Want a girl? You need to quit the salt and bananas (and go to bed together more often) - Found this amusing.  Thought some of my friends who are or may be trying soon would enjoy this one.  
• Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Preschoolers: Kids being kids or a serious disorder? - The nature vs. nurture and psychological drugs vs homeopathic remedies debate rages on in my head on a constant basis.  I am always drawn to the more scientific side of these discussions until it reaches the decision of drugging a child. Then I find myself weighing the alternative options.  I can't help but hope and believe there is some sort of better way than chemical induced peace. This one is about whether the kids are being misdiagnosed after being re-evaluated later. 
• Healthy Enabling and the Good Enough Relationship - An article about two types of parenting, one who enables and supports their child directly and the other who assesses then reacts.  I was surprised where I found myself in this spectrum of supportive parenting.    
• Emotional Acceptance: Why Feeling Bad is Good - (For Dave, a Huckabees quote: "What's so great about depression!?") I could not agree with this article more. I have often felt that my feelings were something to hide when they are less than chipper.  As an adult, I found myself learning to accept myself and my emotions.  When Lilli gets upset, I am sure to explain to her that it's alright to be sad/mad/disappointed.  It's important for her to understand and identify these emotions, but also to accept that they're a part of who she is as a human being.  
• What Should You Hand Down To Other Parents? - Lilli is the first child to be born into both of our families in over a decade.  We're also the second furthest away from the majority of the families.  When it comes to second hand baby/toddler things, I find myself always questioning what to send.  
• I Let My 4-year-old Swear: Why Kids' Cursing Isn't Always a Bad Thing - Another battle from within me.  The punk rock part of me thinks, "who cares, she's going to curse, we curse, why should I pretend to be someone I'm not for my kid?" The mom side of me thinks, "Oh my gawd, if she curses in front of those moms and kids over there, I will be mortified." I figured, it will be what it will be.  We've made a serious effort to cut down on cursing, if she picks up on some words, the only thing I can do is explain that they are grown up words.  And hope that it processes into toddler reasoning.  

There will definitely be more links this week, if you like that part of my blog, check back.  

"Song of the Entry" 

I am to you by A Lily

Lilli's Library List

These past few posts have been really lazy, I'll admit.  We're still recovering from the reverse potty training that kept us up for almost two weeks.  We're slowly making our way back to daytime progress and leaving the night training for another time.  The sleep deficit is still lingering in our lives and so we're caught in a slow climb back to normality.

No matter how tired we become, those twenty plus books get very old after about the 100th read.  So a trip to the library was in order.  Thankfully, Dave came with us and so the usual chaotic trip was reasonably quiet.  Though, I'm pretty sure Lilli froze one of the Library's computer games. So here are a few of our favorites from our last trip:

• Can You Make a Scary Face? by Jan Thomas
• Curious George and the Pizza by Margret Rey and Alan J. Shalleck
• How do dinosaurs eat their food? by Jane Yolen
• I don't want a cool cat! by Emma Dodd
• Jazzamatazz! by Stephanie Calmenson
• Olivia and the missing toy by Ian Falconer
• The Pigeon Finds a Hotdog! by Mo Willems
• A Pocket for Corduroy by Don Freeman
• What's the magic word? by Kelly DiPucchio
• Roly Poly Pangolin by Anna Dewdney
• The Yawn Heard 'Round the World by Scott Thomas

I just noticed how many of these books have either question or exclamation marks.  We must have been feeling excited yet confused.

"Song of the Entry" 

Butterfly Boucher by Keeing Warm

Links

Here are some links I came across this week:

• Scientist Expect C-Section Rate to Keep Rising - This isn't surprising to me. I felt rushed at the hospital, given Pitocin about four hours after I was checked in. It wouldn't have shocked me if they had tried to force me into a C-Section if I had not started to progress as quickly as they'd liked.  Maybe it was just my experience, but I feel more educated now and I would have made different decisions.   
• The secret of creativity: An oblique perspective - Another personality article linking creativity to gays, androgynous males and females, and immigrants.  Saying that their ability to see things through various filters makes them able to think abstractly.  Interesting read. 
• 27 Homemade Halloween Costumes for Kids - If anyone is nearly as excited for Halloween this year, this article has some great ideas. Unfortunately, Lilli has her sights set on a store bought costume. Perhaps there will be more than one event to dress for this year.
• Coworkers, Getting Pregnant and an Office Baby Boom - I laughed when I read this. When I was pregnant there were about three other women pregnant at my place of work. I'll be the first to admit, I caught the baby fever. 

"Song of the Entry" 

Marina & The Diamonds by Obsessions

Birthday!

Only three weeks late... 

Lilli's second birthday was a week long celebration starting with waking up to a living room full of balloons and presents.

We spent the morning opening gifts and playing while we got ready to head to a character breakfast at Busch Gardens.  

She got a chance to sing, dance, and hang out with each of the six characters at the breakfast.  

Throughout the week, she tested out her new gifts.   

On Saturday, we planned a pool party.  However, due to the always impending rain of Florida summers we moved it inside. 

 

As always, Lilli loves to spend time with anyone who is slightly interested in her. We had some cake, opened some of her gifts, and played some Life.  

We had a great time and Lilli stayed up way past her bedtime. 

Lilli's favorite part, getting a huge bag to fill and empty over and over.

We all had a great week and Lilli still gets excited when she hears the birthday song.  Almost always yelling "Happy Day!" at the top of her lungs.  

"Song of the Entry" 

Local Natives by Airplanes

Potty Progress

This post is not really a post.  It's a lazy attempt at blogging, half asleep and not motivated enough to think of anything else but the thing plaguing my sanity.

Over the past week, the three of us have lost quite a bit of sleep due to poor planning and potty successes.  It all started a few weeks ago when Lilli started getting really excited about Elmo's Potty Time.  She started singing the songs, asking questions, and generally getting SUPER pumped to go potty.  Then, she started getting up at 4-5:30 a.m. every day.  We figured it was our neighbors and cursed their noisiness until they moved last weekend.  Yet, Lilli was still getting up every morning crying for us to come get her.  After a few mornings of co-sleeping in "H" formation, my back had enough.

The early morning waking was just the beginning.  She started refusing to go to sleep, crying for us as soon as we put her down.  A process that normally is easy and relatively consistent, suddenly was drawn out and very much a struggle.  We usually spend about two hours relaxing at night, our together time, just Dave and me watching some adult television and talking.  It was now being spent consoling hysterics, questioning the problem, changing diaper after diaper, trying to figure out what foods may have upset her stomach, and wiping noses runny from crying.

The good news is that Lilli is on the potty training mission that we've been waiting for since it all started over a year ago.  The bad news is that all three of us are learning at the same time, and like every other bump in the parenting road we reach, we started researching.  We have been making bedtime routine adjustments and hoping for the best.  I think it's come down to too much liquid before bed and her sudden interest in keeping dry at night, but I could be wrong.  Maybe her imagination has started to develop and she is really scared of the windows and spot behind her bed. We're still making adjustments. After the bedtime struggle, we were up two more times last night.  The lack of sleep has hit all three (five if you count the poor pets) of us.  All we can do is try our best and buy more stickers.

"Song of the Entry"
Sleeper 1972 by The Manchester Orchestra

Links

I love sharing these articles with my readers, especially when they share their own thoughts about them with me.  Being a work-at-home mom has many great advantages and one huge disadvantage.  There are no office parties here, no morning stops at my favorite people's desks to discuss the weekend, and no sharing of ideas and information we have stumbled across in the news.  So, here are a few interesting articles from this past week:

• Having Brothers Delays Maturity in Girls - short article exploring how having brothers makes life more difficult.  Having three brothers of various ages and a sister thrown into the middle of the mix, I'm inclined to agree with the article. 
• Museum Day September 25th - my good friend, Sam, sent this link to me. It's not surprising he's an English teacher and a very inspiring one. I am really looking forward to taking Lilli to the museum for the first time. Let's just hope she gets the hang of "inside voice" and "don't run!" before that time.  
• Why Parents of Girls Divorce More - I thought this was really interesting, it explores the relationship between mother and daughter verses mother and son and it's effects on a family (or potential family).  I can see where a mother who is not being appreciated by her husband, instead being supported emotionally by a daughter, would have more confidence to take on the world alone.  Not exactly uplifting material, but interesting.  
• Babies Remember Moments of Neglect - Now on to more sad news. This made me feel much better about being such a push over when it came to Lilli's sleeping situation.  She didn't make the full transition into sleeping alone until after her first birthday. Before that, we felt like she wasn't ready. She always seemed scared when we tried the "cry it out" approach and so we didn't make a huge push for it until she was able to express herself more clearly.  When I became a parent, I had my own ideas of what was right and wrong.  Quickly, I realized it's all about mental self preservation and doing what is best for my unique baby.  We do what we can to make our children happy and well adjusted (well most parents), so no matter what studies come out, it's all about doing what works for each of us.

"Song of the Entry" 

And the Boys by Angus & Julia Stone

Lilli's Library List

This past trip to the library seemed to be a successful one, we brought home a whopping 25 items (three were even grown up books, yay!).  Usually our trips last us a good two weeks of reading material.  While we may get tired of reading the same 15 books over and over, usually Lilli soaks up every word up until the day we go back for more.  For some reason, the past week or so, she has started revisiting some of her own books instead of our library ones.  She still has some favorites from the library, but she seemed less interested in our picks.  I am thrilled that she is expressing an interest in the ones we have at home, giving new life to old books gaining dust on the shelf.  Here are her favorites from this trip:

• The Pigeon Wants a Puppy! by Mo Williems
• Cupcake by Charise Mericle Harper
• Oink? by Margie Palatini
• Potty! by Mylo Freeman
• Peanut by Linas Alsenas
• When Lulu went to the Zoo by Andy Ellis
• Dogs on the Bed by Elizabeth Bluemle (this one is her absolute favorite of the bunch)
• If Elephants Wore Pants by Henriette Barkow
• Cat and Mouse: A Delicious Tale by Jiwon Oh

"Song of the Entry"
Eazy Speaks by Apostle of Hustle

Links

Here are a few articles I found recently:

• Do-It-Yourself Preschool - This article gave some great hints for things to do with Lilli and even a few she has yet to grow into.  
• Study: Birth Order Affects Smarts, Personality and Firstborns smart, but younger siblings work harder  -  I always have had a passion for the study of  birth order and personality. Being a first born married to a first born I would imagine the differences in understanding would inevitably be with a second child.  I asked Dave the other day if he thought we'd be able to sympathize with a second-born since we have no frame of reference.  We know so much more this time around, a second child would benefit from experience no doubt.  
• The Right Way to Space Siblings (For You) - Loved this article. It put things into perspective for me and maybe put me at ease a little with the pressure of having a second. 
• No Child Prodigy for Me - I have quite a few friends that are teachers or coaches to younger children.  I listen to a lot of "stage mom" and "helicopter parent" stories and this article made me think of them.   I'm inclined to agree, though if I was in a similar situation, I may not be able to sit back and let her talent fall to the side. Though, I might put my foot down at fame.  

"Song of the Entry"
Tbft by Kevin Drew

Potty Progress

I have been putting off this blog for a very long time.  Ever since we started potty training I thought about what I would say here, scared that as I typed out how far we have come she would revert back to old habits.  We've had ups and downs, accidents and on purposes. There have been cheers and tears. It's been a long trip so far, we're far from the end of the road.

When Lilli was 10 months old she loved the potty, I think she may have even accidentally peed on it once or twice before or right after her first birthday.  My aunt bought her first potty before she knew she had pants. She loved to pretend when mommy or daddy were using the potty. I can easily count the number of at home bathroom trips either of us have taken alone in the past two years on my fingers and toes.

Then she started to notice when she was wet or dirty, alerting us but not letting us change her. So, we started to talk more about it. We started putting her on the potty, reading potty stories and making a big production out of things when she had a success. Complete with a sticker chart and one M&M after every completed bathroom trip (including hand washing).  She knows the drill. She loves the attention and was doing extremely well for a while... She was going three to six times a day and asking us to take her when she felt wet.  We got her some panties to wear over her diapers, since she always loved dresses that came with those under pants.  She was on the track to early potty training!

Then... she just lost interest. She still would go every so often, but hardly six times a day.  She fights us for diaper changes, bribery and trickery are the only things that work.  She refuses to make any solid deposits, even when she knows it is coming. So we were back to square one. Reading articles, trying new things, and trying everything we could think of to get her back on track.

She still has ups and downs, some days she goes a few times and others she hardly uses the potty at all.  Personally, I don't think this is something we can spring on her and say "ok, you don't wear diapers anymore and good luck." I can see how that would work for some kids, but Lilli enjoys learning and being independent at her own speed.  Most importantly, she's been so interested for such a long period of time, I can't imagine that potty training is that far off for her.  We'll keep going down this road, trying new things every once in a while, hoping her interest in being a "big girl" is enough to make her want to take it upon herself to make the transition. She understands more each day and puts together ideas faster than we can teach them.  So we don't plan on pushing her. We're sticking to the basics with plenty of cheering along the way. We will try to never turn a learning experience into a stressful or pressure situation.  While I'd love to lose my diaper bag and sport a cute purse again, we're not going to rush into anything.  Like everything else I've ever worried about her learning, she takes it at her own pace.  Until then, we'll be on the sidelines cheering "Go Lilli Go!"

"Song of the Entry"
Starling by La Strada

Her Words

A few months ago, Lilli reached that time in toddler-hood of verbal development.  She gave new meaning to vocabulary burst, repeating any words that struck her fancy (sometimes the bad ones too).  For a few months, she would say anything, and I mean anything, you'd ask her to repeat.  Except her name. She'd clam up immediately or walk away as if we told her to go away.  I knew it had to do with the difficulty she had with her "L's" but it still seemed off to me that she would seem so defeated so quickly.  Normally, if she doesn't get something, she'll bang her head against it until she figures it out.

We began working on various other L words with her, ones she didn't turn away from, like "lion" and her favorite cat, Linus (or "Nine-nus" as she called him for a while).  She started pointing to herself when we said "Lilli" instead of running away. She understood the concept but the words escaped her tongue. She slowly became more willing to at least try some L words and most of the time it came out sounding like a Y.  Now she calls herself "Yiddie" and that's a great accomplishment in my book.  She says all other L words now and slowly the pronunciation is becoming clearer.

She calls her step stool a "doof" and words like diaper and thunder come out with an "ah" sound at the end.  It makes me smile when she says them wrong. It's adorable and to be honest I'll miss it when she finally gets it right.  Sometimes I worry that I push her too hard, other times I know it's my job to teach her how to communicate. So, I keep trying to never say "no, that's not right" and always repeat the correct way to say the ones she misses.  It seems to work and I'm glad she is so excited to learn.  It makes my job a lot easier, that's for sure.

"Song of the Entry"
Tell Me Where You've Been by Hotel Eden

Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE MISS PIE!!! 

Less than 24 hours before your arrival

Two years ago today at 1:17 p.m. a mini version of the person who runs our show came furiously into our world. 

A few minutes old

1 year

Thank you for the most amazing two years we've ever had in our lives. 

"Song of the Entry"
Happy Birthday to you!